First Haircut

I took Viv to get her first haircut this week. Her hair was driving me nuts... the fly aways are out of control. She still has a lot of new hair coming in but her ends were really bad and her hair was all different lengths. I was certainly nervous on how well she would do and if she would sit still...but she did fantastic! They sat her in front of the TV and had Mickey Mouse playing and I loaded her up with graham crackers and a drink...she didn't even realize what was happening! 

This is the best 'after' pic I got. I had the stylist basically give her a little bob. It's really cute...maybe a bit shorter than I wanted but it will grow..it's amazing how much healthier her hair already looks. 

March Madness

How could I have missed posting a picture from their first Daddy/Daughter Dance? Butterfly Kisses was held at the end of January...actually we put off inducing Rowan by a couple of days because Nathan didn't want to miss taking her to the dance.

She was apparently a wild child and wanted to run everywhere rather than dance or participate in anything....go figure. Nathan was sweating...but they had a good time! 

Uncle Nick and the cousins went too...

Viv is generally good with Rowan...infatuated actually. But you have to watch her, she's getting more bold. I've caught her a couple of times trying to pick him up but mostly she wants to bring him gifts...so she piles her toys on him. 

Or pushes him around in the rock-n-play. 

Nathan's been taking her to gymnastics and she seems to really enjoy it...and according to him, she's the most athletic one in the class. 

Visiting Uncle Adam at work...

Dad is getting the hang of this baby thing! 

A month ago I didn't think we'd ever get this picture. But Gma Deb finally got to meet Rowan. She's home and still recovering but getting stronger everyday. We celebrated all the February birthdays a few weeks ago out at the farm. 

Rowan tolerates tummy time WAY better than his sister! He can almost hold his head up completely on his own...he's still a bit floppy but getting stronger all the time. 

He does occasionally cry. I had to remind myself to get a picture of him because we don't see this face very often. Thankfully! He still really only cries when he's hungry...or Viv bonks him in the face with something. 

He's still just the best baby...very laid back and a snuggler. 

The Struggle Is Real

I struggle every day with being present in the moment. My mother always has said if she could relive a moment she would choose to go back and hold her children again when we were little (always said through tears). I struggle every day to fully enjoy these moments instead of focusing on the messes and what doesn't go the way I want it to go. I'm constantly wishing for the days that everyone promises will come...the days when it's supposed to get easier. I'm always wondering....when will I not have to chase someone around the house to get dressed?...when will I be able to take someone to a public place and not have to worry about them running as far away from me as possible?...when will I not have to change a dirty diaper?...when will I be able to sleep through the night without having to listen to a baby monitor?...when will the guilt go away from feeding my babies formula or using disposable diapers?...when will I stop having to wash bottles?...when will I be able to exercise again in peace?...when will I stop having to constantly pick up horse figurines/Little People off the floor?....when will the frustration stop from being constantly interrupted?...when will I be able to go back to work?...when?

But then there is the guilt of wishing for these days to come....of not fully enjoying all these special moments that I have the privilege of being present for. Nathan and I are late bloomers in the world of kids and it was no picnic getting here. But I still vividly remember having A LOT of time to myself....and I miss it. It's not that I'm wishing my kids are grown and out of the house...

But the struggle is real for me...to remember to enjoy the chaos, the mess, the clutter, being homebound and not wishing it to go by too fast. 

One month

What a different experience this has been! Everyone always says that no two babies are alike and we are definitely figuring that out. Rowan is super easy compared to his older sister! He's so laid back...and maybe it's also due to the fact that we kinda know what we are doing this time around and I'm not a walking bag of nerves but the last month has been much more enjoyable! We are actually getting some sleep! And I would recommend having a late winter/spring baby over a November baby any day of the week!

We went to our first Mommy and Me class last week at the hospital and he weighed in at 9# 15 oz. He's eating 4 oz every 3-4 hours. He pretty much only cries when he's hungry or tired...and during bath time but now he seems to enjoy his baths. He's still in newborn sized diapers but we are going to be purchasing the next size up at our next Target run. He's still able to wear newborn sized clothes but he's almost too long for the sleepers. He's awake more during the day...usually mostly in the morning and has been a pretty good napper. I swaddle him in the afternoon and he lets me nap when Viv naps! I love this kid! He actually seems to like being swaddled and he's happy just hanging out in the rock-n-play. He's not wild about the swing or his pacifier. He hasn't quite figured out the pacifier just yet. He kind of chews on it and it falls out frequently. He's still spitting up through his nose pretty frequently and therefore still has a lot of nasal discharge...but we are all over our crud that went through the house. I was the only one who didn't end up coming down with anything. He's still sleeping in our room at night in the rock-n-play. He usually falls asleep around 8-9 pm and sleeps until around 1:30-2 am, eats, and then is up around 6 am to eat again and then will sleep again until around 8 am. We haven't had the hours of crying before bed the way we did with Vivian....and apparently no 'purple crying'. He's working on getting his neck stronger...he's still doesn't have great control of his head and neck. I'm pretty sure his eyes are going to be brown...I think I'm starting to see pigment changes already. 

My only regret is nursing...I really thought he was going to be a good eater/nurser...and I think he was but he still hadn't gotten to his birth weight by his 2 week appointment so we started supplementing with formula. And then I was pumping and feeding him with a bottle so that I knew how much he was eating...and trying to pump multiple times a day with a 2 year old and a newborn just wasn't happening....so I'm currently weaning down from pumping. He tolerates the formula well and I've just never really enjoyed nursing...so I guess I'm just not a nursing mom. I did make it 3 months of pumping with Viv and I'm not even going to make that with him...but he did get colostrum and 5 weeks of breast milk...so that's better than nothing! 

Vivian continues to be completely in love with him. She asks about him first thing in the morning and looks for him if he's not in the swing. She refers to him as 'Baby boy' and also loves to take his pacifier ('Boo mimi'). She loves to 'hug' him and I have to constantly reprimand her from laying on him when he's in the rock-n-play. It will be really fun to see how she reacts when he can start actually interacting with her. Taking his 'one month' shots was interesting as she of course wanted to be right in the middle of all the action...in the above photo she was looking up at me saying 'cheese'! 

We haven't seen any intentional smiles yet from him and he hasn't started cooing quite yet...but it won't be long now! This first month has gone by super fast, which I'm grateful! I was so worried about how we were going to adjust and I know things will continue to get easier each month. I'm hoping it won't be long and he'll be sleeping all night and we can graduate him to the crib. He still hasn't met Gma Deb yet...she asked to see him when she got home from the hospital but Nathan thought he was still sick so he's been overly protective and still wouldn't clear her to meet him. So we are thinking this weekend she will be able to meet him....it is truly a miracle! 

Newborn photos